A pirate walks into a bar, he has an eye patch and a peg leg, and also a ships wheel in his pants.
The bartender asks “hey, does that eyepatch ever get itchy?”
“Nay, lad, now make with the grog” says the captain.
“What about that peg leg? It’s got to be annoying?”
“Nay again, lad, you get used to it.
“But that ship’s wheel in your pants…”
“Aye, it’s drivin’ me nuts!”