What starts with e

What starts with e, ends with e, and only has one letter in it?

An envelope.

Rocks

Why don’t rocks like to talk to people?

Because we take them for granite.

Four Year Old Son

I tried to explain to my four-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants…

He’s not buying it. In fact, he’s still making fun of me.

Unlawful vs Illegal

What’s the difference between unlawful and illegal?

One is against the law, the other is a sick bird.