Fed-Ex and UPS Merger

Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging.

They’re going to be Fed-Up from now on.

Forrest Gump

What’s Forrest Gump’s email password?

1forrest1

Not so grape…

What did the grapes say when they got run over?

Nothing, they just let out a little wine.

Calendar Manufacturer

I used to have a job at a calendar manufacturer but got fired because I took a couple days off.

Tennis Shoes

Her: “Magazines are actually cheap. You can get ten issues for $10.”

Me: “Wow that is cheap. I actually need a new pair of tennis shoes.”