Tennis Shoes

Her: “Magazines are actually cheap. You can get ten issues for $10.”

Me: “Wow that is cheap. I actually need a new pair of tennis shoes.”

Four Year Old Son

I tried to explain to my four-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants…

He’s not buying it. In fact, he’s still making fun of me.

Fed-Ex and UPS Merger

Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging.

They’re going to be Fed-Up from now on.

Kleenex

How do you make a Kleenex dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

Clydesdale and a Pony

Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?

Because he was a little horse.

Bra and a Hat

What did the bra say to the hat?

You go on ahead, I’ll hold up here.