Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
What do you call watches linking up to form a belt?
A complete waist of time.
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
My professor accused me of plagiarism.
His words, not mine.
A three-legged dog who lost his father walks into a bar and says to the bartender, ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’
How do farmers make crop circles?
What do you call a group of security guards outside a Samsung store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
The graveyard looks overcrowded.
People must be dying to get in there.
I said to my dad, “What rhymes with orange?”
He replied, “no it doesn’t.”