Kleenex

How do you make a Kleenex dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

Clydesdale and a Pony

Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?

Because he was a little horse.

Chicken Coups

Why do chicken coups only have two doors?

Because if they had four, they’d be chicken sedans.

Ordered the Duck

I tried a new restaurant this week. I ordered the duck.

It was good, but the bill was hard to swallow.

Ham Sandwich

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

Seagulls

Why do seagulls only fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.

Samsung Store

What do you call a group of security guards outside a Samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

Not so grape…

What did the grapes say when they got run over?

Nothing, they just let out a little wine.