Leaf

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Leaf.

Leaf who?

Leaf me alone already!

Ham Sandwich

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

Man needs a heart transplant

Feeling Sheepish

A man needing a heart transplant is told by his doctor that the only heart available is that of a sheep. The man finally agrees and the doctor transplants the sheep heart into the man.

A few days after the operation, the man comes in for a checkup. The doctor asks him “How are you feeling?”

The man replies “Not BAAAAD!”

Gallon Jug

The inventor of the gallon jug died today.

Tributes have been pouring in.