Relationship Jokes

One day, a newlywed couple arrive home from their honeymoon.

The new wife tells her husband, “I think it’s time for you to stop playing golf. In fact, you might as well sell all of your clubs.”

The husband replies, “You’re starting to sound like my ex-wife.”

His wife says, “I thought you said you’ve never been married before?”

The husband says, “I haven’t.”

Two guys were playing golf one day.

Suddenly, one of them noticed a funeral procession going by on the road next to the course.

He stopped in mid-swing, closed his eyes and said a short prayer.

The other man was truly moved by this and said “Wow! That was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.”

“Well”, the other man said, “I was married to her for 35 years.”

Police are called to an apartment one day.

The police arrive to find a woman holding a bloody 3-iron standing over a lifeless man.

The detective asks her, “Ma’am, is that your husband?”

“Yes” says the woman.

“And did you hit him with that golf club?”

“Yes, yes, I did,” the woman says as she begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face.

“How many times did you hit him?”

“I don’t know; put me down for a five.”