Yard Sticks

Does anyone know why they won’t be making yardsticks any longer?

Flat Earth

The number of people who believe the earth is flat is steadily growing. There are now Flat Earth Society members all around the globe.

Microwave

Microwave – A hand gesture used by a small person to say hello.

Plagiarism

My professor accused me of plagiarism. His words, not mine.

Lady Gaga

How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker face.

Toothpaste

I dropped my toothpaste this morning.
I was Crestfallen.

Rocks

Why don’t rocks like to talk to people?
Because we take them for granite.

Gallon Jug

The inventor of the gallon jug died today. Tributes have been pouring in.