Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s freezing out here!
Watched three movies back to back
Me and my girlfriend watched three movies back to back.
Luckily, I was the one facing the TV.
What is a cat’s favorite song?
What is a cat’s favorite song?
Three Blind Mice.
The number of people who believe the earth is flat is steadily growing
The number of people who believe the earth is flat is steadily growing.
There are now Flat Earth Society members all around the globe.
Forrest Gump
What’s Forrest Gump’s email password?
1forrest1
Two goldfish are in a tank.
Two goldfish are in a tank.
One says to the other, “do you know how to drive this thing?”
Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story?
Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story?
Because there are so many plots there!
Are any Halloween monsters good at math?
Are any Halloween monsters good at math?
No—unless you Count Dracula!
I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro…
I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro.
It’s a total rip-off.
What starts with e
What starts with e, ends with e, and only has one letter in it?
An envelope.