The past, present, and future walk into a bar.
It was tense.
Stopwatch
Knock! Knock
Who’s there?
Stopwatch.
Stopwatch who?
Stopwatch you’re doing and pay attention!
Forrest Gump
What’s Forrest Gump’s email password?
1forrest1
The rotation of the earth…
The rotation of the earth really makes my day.
When does a doctor get mad?
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
Clydesdale and a Pony
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse.
How do cows say thank you in Spanish?
How do cows say “thank you” for dinner in Spanish?
Moo-chas grass-ias.
Board of Education
Yo mama so dumb…
she thought the board of education was a piece of wood.
How do prisoners make phone calls?
How do prisoners make phone calls?
With cell phones.
Why did the chef get arrested for assault?
Why did the chef get arrested for assault?
He got caught beating an egg!